Fetlife is the worlds largest “kink” community. There are great people of every gender, identity and role imaginable on Fetlife.
At the same time it is a free x-rated website so that does attract some bad people. Does that mean you should give into fear and avoid it? NO! The positive far outweighs the negative on Fetlife. There are sincere people that are excited to share their thoughts, ideas, kinks and art (there is a lot of really cool art) with others who share their interests. If you have realistic expectations and are smart about it you can enjoy the good and ignore the bad.
BEFORE YOU JOIN FETLIFE READ THIS!
- When you join you have to create a profile but do not fill it out. Seriously, don’t fill it out yet! NO PICTURES! NO NOTHING!
- The owners of Fetlife want Fetlife to be a community. They have made purposefully made the site hard to use for dating, As an example you can’t search profiles by age, sex or relationship status. Men still outnumber women about 20 to 1. Both men and women try to use the site purely for hook ups (they search the forums and search by city).
- If a woman puts any info in your profile or post any pic you will attract their attention and be overwhelmed with messages. It will be like that scene in Finding Nemo where the seagulls are fighting “FISH!”, “ITS MY FISH!”, “NO ITS MINE!”
- Once you joined go to this link Fetlife.com/search/groups and join some groups that interest you. Start by searching for your city, those groups know about local events. You can also search by topic, role or general interests. There are groups for everything from Cincinnati BDSM to fans of the TV show Firefly.
- You aren’t required to comment so no need to be scared. You are free to just lurk, read and learn.
- If you do have any questions most of the people there are very kind and helpful. You will quickly learn anything you want to know if you do find the courage to ask.
- There are some idiots (as mentioned above) in any community but ignore them and don’t give up.
IF YOUR GOAL IS TO DATE READ OUR BDSM DATING ADVICE