Archive For 04/13/2017

List of BDSM Fetishes and Activities

In a previous post we discussed the importance of setting bdsm limits. It is important to keep in mind what is a hard limit for one person can be a fetish for another. This list below is very long and includes many different types of play and relationships. No one is going to enjoy all of them. It is ok to say you don’t understand or don’t like something.

At the same time BDSM relationships rely on respect. Not only for ourselves and our partners, but for others in the community. Even though we may not enjoy a specific activity or idea, we must respect those in the community whose desires are different than ours.

The Dominant and submissive should both complete these checklists separately. Once completed, and only after completion, should they share their lists.

Click this link to download our BDSM CHECKLIST in PDF format

Safety tips for meeting someone the first time

Meeting a Dominant or Master in person can be exciting and intimidating at the same time. Everyone hears the urban myths and horror stories because people like to talk about the bad more than the good. The vast majority of interactions are safe, as long as you follow a few simple suggestions.

  1. Always meet in public
  2. Always have a safety call. That is someone you call before you meet the person, knows who you are meeting and you call a few hours later to let them know you are safe. (give them a window like 9pm-10pm just in case you get caught up in the excitement and forget)
  3. Most cities have a decent BDSM community with a few events and meetings (in public) every month. You can find out more on our BDSM Resources page
  4. Always make sure you discuss limits (read more about them here) BEFORE discussing the fun stuff. If a Dom/Master doesn’t ask BEFORE they talk dirty to you that is a sign they are inexperienced or don’t respect you and care about your safety
  5. Never play with someone who doesn’t know what they are doing. Ropes, wax and other things are AMAZING FUN. At the same time they are very dangerous. A candle can cause 3rd degree burns. A bad knot can cut off circulation or cause nerve damage.
  6. BDSM isn’t about sex. It is about mind over body. Find a space where you are comfortable and play safe.

Review of the dating app Vanilla Umbrella

Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Versions for iPhone and Android. They boast about 800,000 users. It is free to send messages if you and the other person have both “liked” each other. It is NOT easy to sign up. They do that to weed out fakes and people just wanting to play games online. Read the instructions in the email they send to get it right.

Cons: It costs 10 credits to send a message to people that haven’t liked you. There are free ways to earn credits and if you verify your account you start with 150 credits. They don’t tell you when someone last logged in. There is no website to log into from a computer. The app is slow and hard to navigate on a phone. Couples often show up as single people. They don’t offer any filters for role, distance, height, or body type. All the measurements are in metric and they don’t offer an option to change that for American users. They allow users to post photos that aren’t of themselves (memes, flowers, pets).